This is the rape joke:
My best friend was four years old the first time his father came into his room at midnight and tore out his throat. He still has days when I cannot hold him because the memory of a bleeding trachea haunts his doorway. He has not been home for the holidays in many years, but – even now – hands are seen as weapons.

This is the rape joke:
I have been told by more than twenty people that they have been raped. To all of them, I asked where the rapist was. From none of them, I heard ‘jail.’

This is the rape joke:
Once my brother told me that I was so ugly, I would be a virgin forever. Unless someone raped me. But even they wouldn’t come back for seconds.

This is the rape joke:
I believed him.

This is the rape joke:
I now look at every woman on the street and wonder if the space between her legs is a crime scene, surrounded by ripped caution tape. The statistics tell me that this is so common that I will never be in a room that does not contain a survivor. Not even if I am in that room alone.

This is the rape joke:
I was thirteen years old, and he was supposed to be just a friend.

This is the rape joke:
When his older brother came home, the boy pulled away. He wiped the tears from my face and said ‘we should do this again some time.’

This is the rape joke:
When I finally told my parents, they asked what I had been wearing.

This is the rape joke:
I had been wearing my innocence. My trust. I had worn the love I held for humanity and expected to be treated well. I had never been taught that I would be that girl, the one who keeps a mine of secrets between her legs – that girl was the slut. I wasn’t supposed to be breakable.
What had I been wearing? I wore the rape joke, then I became it.

This is the Rape Joke | d.a.s

After Lora Mathis’s poem “the Rape Joke

(via ragyo)

120,919 notes
So you like chemistry puns…

aceinnatailsuit:

captainriz:

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE

IT’S LIKE THE WHO’S ON FIRST OF SCIENCE JOKES

96,489 notes
My therapist just told me a joke.

nehoynehoy14:

lilysinthefall:

professorfangirl:

timemachineyeah:

So this girl walks up to another girl and says “Hey, have you heard of the Bechdel Test?”

And the other girl says, “Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day!”

SIT DOWN.

i don’t get it

I feel like this is an inside joke that I am not getting

95,161 notes

buckysexual:

maskedfangirl:

marvelcolm:

Guys, please read my extremely NSFW Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic told from the perspective of Groot here.

I don’t normally rec a lot of PWP, but wow. Stop what you’re doing and read this, you won’t regret it!

image

76,451 notes

foxnewsofficial:

foxnewsofficial:

next time you’re washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say ‘this water is getting out of hand’ it’s a guaranteed way to make friends i have never tried it but it is guaranteed

ok thank you that’s enough notes now you can stop

630,281 notes